Wepdiggy vs the Malamoo Parody
by Wepdiggy
Summary: This is a light parody of Malamoo's Chuck vs. the Second Chance.For the record, I love Moo's work, and this is meant in good fun. I hope you enjoy, and please R&R. Thanks!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own "Chuck". In fact, I didn't even come up with the universe in which this fic occurs. Chuck belongs to NBC, WB, and Schwartz and Fedak. This universe is the creation of Malamoo. All thanks be to them =)_

_A/N: Okay, this is just a bit of parody. In my review to the latest chapter of **Malamoo's Chuck vs. the Second Chance**, I suggested that Jill show up and really drive home some hard facts for Sarah. Moo suggested that I write that, and post it as a companion piece to her fic, so I did. Once again, I had her express permission to do this piece. If any of you get the idea to do something like this in the future to a fic by another author, I can't stress enough that you should **ASK FIRST!** That said, I hope you enjoy, and please review. Thanks!

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Sarah reaches out to link her hand with Chuck's. It's impossible to deny the electricity that seems to pass through his touch. Her eyes meet his, and suddenly, she feels more vulnerable than she has since she left, all those years ago. She knows he can probably see it in her eyes, but there's nothing she can do to stop the rush of emotion that she knows passes in their shared gaze.

"Just like old times," Sarah repeats his words from before. Her voice is strained, the words coming out in a whisper. She's not even sure if she actually said them.

As the couple moves towards the front of the condo, a figure appears on the other side of the stained glass opening in the front door. Sarah immediately tenses and pulls Chuck behind her. It's irrational, she knows, but even after all of this time, her protective instincts are always at their peak around the man with the kind brown eyes.

"Who is it?" Sarah demands, a hard edge behind her voice. The blondes hand was wrenched behind her back to get a firm grasp of the firearm she keeps concealed in the waistband of her jeans.

"Chuck?" asks the clearly feminine voice that is muffled by the wooden door.

Chuck immediately recognizes who has come to call, and moves Sarah aside. He swings the door open to reveal a woman a little shorter than Sarah, long brunette hair, and brown eyes. _Jill_.

The sight of Sarah's old nemesis does nothing to relax the grip she has on her Smith & Wesson. It's everything Sarah can do to keep a low growl from escaping her lips. Just as the years have done nothing to dim Sarah's feelings for Chuck, the same years have done nothing to diminish the agent's distaste for Chuck's college sweetheart.

"Chuck, can I speak to you in private for a moment?" Sarah asks through clenched teeth.

Deciding that avoiding an argument in front of Jill will be for the best, Chuck gives in to Sarah's request. The couple walks down the hall, and Sarah shoves Chuck into the first room they come to.

"What the hell is _she_ doing here?" Sarah asks, clearly annoyed.

"Well, what do you want me to tell you, Sarah? You've been gone a long time. I told you I haven't just been waiting for you. I needed a friend," Chuck explains, as calmly as he can. Sarah is amazed that he doesn't seem to understand why she'd be upset.

"And _that's_ who you choose as a friend? Chuck? Do you not remember what that _woman_ did to you? To us?" Sarah has become very animated at this point. Her hands are flailing about wildly to illustrate just how upset she is with this revelation.

"That's in the past, Sarah. She's been here for me. That's more than I can say for you," he says accusingly. He didn't want this conversation to get so heated, but Sarah certainly touched on a nerve when she began speaking poorly of someone that Chuck has come to rely on in his very lonely life.

"Well you need to tell her to leave!" Sarah growls. "I'm here to protect you, and I don't need outside interference. And besides, I think we have a cover to maintain."

"Sarah, we _do_ have a cover to maintain, but we're inside my home – well, one of my homes. Nothing needs to be kept up here. Why don't you go to the kitchen until you cool down, while I go talk to Jill?" Chuck says, regaining his composure. It's easy to be the level-headed one when Sarah is being so unreasonable.

"Talk?" Sarah huffs. "Is that what you're calling it now?"

"Yes, okay!" Chuck shouts. "Yes, Jill and I have been sleeping together. And yes, that is what will probably happen while you're in the kitchen waiting. Happy?"

"No I'm not happy!" Sarah answers with venom in her voice. "How could you, Chuck?"

"How could _I?" _He shakes his head, the ridiculousness of the argument dawning on him. "We all have needs Sarah. Do you mean to tell me that you haven't had other lovers since you left?"

"No!" Sarah says. A blush of guilt rises to her cheeks. "Well, yes, of course I have, but it was for the job, Chuck. You know what I have to do sometimes. But why her?"

Chuck's anger finally boils over. "I don't have to explain myself to you, Sarah. I have no reason to be sorry for anything. Jill has been there for me, and I've been there for her. We've helped one another, because no one else in the world was there to help us. So you go wait in the kitchen while I talk to my _friend_."

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It's been forty-five minutes, and now Sarah has migrated from the kitchen to the sofa in the living room. The unmistakable sounds of love have been coming from one of the back bedrooms, and the thought of what is going on has the blonde's blood nearly boiling.

Finally, the noises stop, and Sarah is left alone in silence to contemplate what is going on. Chuck has gone back into the arms of the betrayer, and it is Sarah herself that has driven him there. It doesn't help take the sting off of the situation to recognize her fault, but for the moment, it redirects her anger from Jill, to herself.

That is, until minutes later Jill emerges from the hallway, straightening out her clothes. Sarah's anger towards the brunette has returned in full force. It takes ever fiber of strength Sarah possesses not to rush the doctor of bio-chemistry and beat her to a bloody pulp, but Sarah knows that wouldn't sit well with Chuck.

"It was nice seeing you again, Sarah," Jill says with a smug look of satisfaction, exiting through the same door she'd entered just more than an hour before.

Once again Sarah is tempted beyond words to chase after the other woman and leave her in a pool of her own blood. But before any violence can occur, Chuck comes from the hallway, cutting off the menacing glare Sarah has cast on the now closed door.

He ignores the look of rage and betrayal that is on the face of his once again protector, and once again reaches out a hand for her.

"I think we were headed out for a cover date. Shall we?" Chuck asks.

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_A/N: Ahhh…nothing like some Chuck/Jill parody, huh? I hope you enjoyed it, and I look forward to your feedback. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I don't own…yadda, yadda, yadda. Second verse, same as the first. _

_A/N: Okay, I was going to leave it as a one-shot, but Moo dared me to find a way to bring Jill into the next chapter of her fic **Chuck vs. the Second Chance**, and **Zyfr** gave me a bunch of good ideas and listened to the ideas I had as to how to accomplish that goal. So without further ado, the parody continues!

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As Sarah took in the sight of the photos on Ellie's mantle, she was saddened by the conspicuous absence to two people from all of the pictures: her and Chuck.

Sarah's absence was sad in that, when she was honest with herself, she really wanted to be there with the people she'd unwittingly come to think of as her family.

But as bad as she felt for herself, Sarah couldn't help but feel worse for Chuck. He had missed his family too, and it was through no fault of his own. When Sarah had left, she'd made the decision for both of them to live a sad, lonely life.

Sarah's melancholy stroll down memory lane was disturbed, however, when she saw a photo featuring not only Ellie, but another brown-haired woman. The blonde picked up the frame to, hopefully, dismiss her suspicions of who her sister-in-law was standing next to, but to Sarah's dismay, her worst fears were confirmed.

"Ellie," Sarah said through clinched teeth, "is this…"

"Oh! Yes, Jill. Have you ever met Jill? She was the one from Stanford…I'm sure you've heard the story. But she'd changed so much, Sarah. It sucks that I haven't had my little brother around the past few years, but at least I've had my best friend, Jill."

"You're friend now?" Sarah asked with a strained voice.

"Oh, yeah. I love Jill. In fact, she should…" Ellie's words were cut off as the doorbell sounded. "Oh! That should be her now. I told her Chuck and his wife were in town, and she insisted on stopping by!"

"I'll bet she did," Sarah growled. Ellie didn't hear what the blonde said, however, as she was already on the way to answer the door.

Dinner that night was surprisingly quiet. Ellie was too consumed with the joy of having her family back together; Devon was too consumed with the excellent meal that Ellie had prepared; Chuck was too consumed with the awkwardness of having his wife and his mistress, who was also his sister's best friend, apparently, in the same room; Jill was too consumed with silently gloating about completely stealing Sarah's life out from under her; and Sarah was too consumed with thinking of ways to kill Jill and to make it look like an accident.

"Why don't you boys go watch some television or something and let us clean up the kitchen," Ellie suggested when the meal had been finished. The lady doctor wanted some girl-time with her best friend and estranged sister-in-law.

"So, Sarah, what do we need to do to get Jill here in the married club?" Ellie asked

"I don't know, Ellie," Sarah said, doing her best to control her anger. "Maybe _Jill_ just isn't the marrying type."

Jill tried her best to control the smirk that was threatening to turn into a full blown smile at just how upset her blonde counterpart was at her presence.

"Nonsense," Ellie declared. "Jill's great, and I'm sure there's some terrific guy out there just waiting for her."

"Maybe you're right, Ellie," Jill said. "Maybe he's closer than you think." With that, Jill turned a knowing, predatory smile towards Sarah.

Sarah, for her part, had finally had enough. She threw the dish towel and stomped out of the room, wondering once again why the universe seemed to hate her.

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_A/N: So there it is…more Jill ruining Sarah's life, lol. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: If I didn't own it before, I don't own it now. I haven't had a job since June, so it's kind of hard to buy anything, ya know? _

_A/N: Okay, so this one was a little harder, as it is basically the same scene, but I got it done anyway! Because I couldn't follow the plot of the source material in this one as much, I decided to try to use some of the same imagery for far different means to reach the point of parody. I'm still really enjoying **Malamoo**'s work, and her story Chuck vs. the Second Chance, and this piece is still an act of me enjoying it. I wouldn't parody something I didn't love. Well, I might, but I'd be much more mean spirited about it, haha. Okay, I hope you enjoy this, and please review. Thanks!

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Waterboarding was, in Sarah's opinion, the cruelest, most painful form of torture known to man. She had never actually performed it on any of the subjects she had to interrogate. Sarah had…other ways of getting information from the enemy that had proven to be much more effective. But once, three years ago, Sarah had herself been captured and waterboarded. She was just about to give the Iranian bastards that had captured her every piece of information that they wanted when her backup arrived and rescued her from the hellish torture session.

Never again did Sarah Walker, "super spy" think that she would be subjected to the perils of the feeling of drowning. That was, until she was tracked down in the spare bedroom she'd disappeared into by Ellie and that brunette jezebel Jill Roberts.

It had been about five minutes since the blonde had stormed out of the kitchen to get away from Ellie and her new "BFF", and Sarah was beginning to think that she'd at least be left alone to her thoughts. Although Devon and Ellie's spare bedroom had been made into a nursery for their soon-to-be born child, Sarah couldn't help but travel back in time to another bedroom in the Woodcomb abode. It was Chuck's room that she'd entered in her mind.

Back then, before everything that went wrong in their relationship, Chuck's bedroom had, unbeknownst to anyone but herself, become somewhat of a safe-haven for Sarah. It was the one place in the world that the dregs of life as a spy couldn't touch her. It was the one place that she was a real person. Sarah enjoyed pretending that she could still feel like that.

But when Ellie and Jill (who was wearing the most obvious faked look of concern Sarah had ever seen) came to find her, Sarah's moment of reflection was over. Ellie crossed the room as quickly as her very pregnant body would allow her, and wrapped Sarah in a hug. And Sarah felt like she was back on that table. The water was being poured over her. She felt like she was drowning again.

"Are you alright, Sarah? What happened?" Ellie asked.

Sarah wracked her brain for some type of answer that wouldn't give away anything. While she was tempted to tell Ellie the true status of her relationship with Chuck, and about how Chuck had been poking Ellie's friend for God knows how long, she knew she needed to refrain. Ellie wouldn't be able to handle the truth well, and in her current state, it could be bad for the baby. While Sarah was upset, she wasn't willing to risk harm to the unborn child.

"I'm fine," Sarah lied. "I guess I just got a little overwhelmed with everything." _Maybe a nugget of truth wouldn't hurt. _"And it's a little hard for me to reconcile all that I knew about Jill with her being your friend." _And everything that I know about her that I can't tell you._

"Sarah, believe me, I understand. I mean, it's not like you ever make Chuck hang out with any of your ex's, I'm sure. But the Jill thing, it's so far in the past," Ellie assured her sister in-law. "Chuck has moved on, to you. And Jill, well, when she's not helping Devon and I on our adventures, or hanging out with us here in LA, she has some guy she's been seeing on the side."

"Oh, does she?" Sarah asked, grimacing slightly.

"Yeah. I mean, she won't tell me anything about this mystery guy, but he's been seeing him for some time now. I think things might even be getting serious," Ellie said as Jill walked into the room.

"Uh-huh," Sarah said. "You don't say?"

"That's true, Sarah," Jill said, doing well to hide the smugness in her voice to all but the blonde. "In fact, things have been getting _very_ serious between me, and my beau, who shall still remain nameless, Ellie," Jill said teasingly to the doctor.

"What kind of serious? Ring serious?" Ellie asked excitedly.

"Well," Jill began, pausing slightly to make sure her words hit their mark. "I don't know if marriage is in the cards for us. He's been married before, and his wife was just terrible to him. I think he may have lost faith in the whole institution of marriage," Jill said, making sure her words weren't missed by Sarah. They weren't. Jill's quip had acted like a knife to Sarah's gut.

"Then, what's the news, Jill?" Ellie asked. Chuck's sister hadn't picked up on any of the subtle infighting going on between the other two occupants of the room, nor the immense tension that hung in the air between the women.

"Well Ellie, Sarah. I found out yesterday that I'm going to have a baby!" Jill exclaimed excitedly.

"You're pregnant!?" Chuck asked as he came into the room. He tried to hide the look of shock on his face, but he wasn't doing a very good job.

The floor dropped out from under Sarah at Jill's announcement. She was back on the table. The water was being poured over her. Sarah wished she was drowning. Drowning had a definite end.

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_A/N: Okay, was this one as good as the ones previous? I didn't have Chuck in this one until the very end, and he's kind of been the focal point of Sarah's frustrations, so I fear it might not have been as strong, but I'll let you guys tell me how I did. Also, I'm not positive how waterboarding works, so I might have that wrong, I don't know. In any case, I'm sure you get the idea. Okay, that's all for me, for now. I look forward to your feedback, and you guys are awesome. Peace. _


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Same as before. I own nothing, and all credit goes to Schwartz and Fedak for creating Chuck, and to Malamoo for creating this universe that I'm playing around in._

_A/N: Okay, you wanted to know how I could crap on Sarah more? Well, here it is! I've found a way to make our favorite blonde spy even more miserable! As this story progresses, I realize that it gets further, and further away from **Malamoo's Chuck vs. the Second Chance**, but I'm still trying to mirror that great fic as much as possible. In this chapter, the way I've done that is a bit limited, but I managed to throw in a Moo-like flashback scene. I hope you enjoy that, and I hope you enjoy this chapter in general. Please review. Thanks!

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Sarah had managed to reel in her emotions enough to put up a brave face for the rest of the evening. Ellie had been far too busy doting over her friend Jill and her newly announced pregnancy to notice the slight traces of hurt that Sarah knew had slipped past her façade. And if Jill noticed, which Sarah was quite positive the brunette had, she hadn't said anything.

The fact that no one asked her what was wrong helped Sarah make it through the evening conversation, which was almost all focused on Jill's pregnancy. Suffering alone and in silence was much more familiar, and even as polished as she was at deceiving others, Sarah didn't know if she could lie about the searing pain she felt deep within her chest at the thought of her husband starting a family with someone else.

That news had come as a shock, but as the hours wore on, Sarah was getting accustomed to the idea, and the pain was even beginning to recede some into a low, dull ache. Then came the conversation that the blonde agent was not at all ready for.

"Well, I guess I better get going," Jill said.

"What, so soon? Please, stay!" Ellie implored the other brunette. "We have so much more to talk about, baby-buddy!"

Jill laughed easily at the pleading request of her friend. "I'd love to Ellie, you know I would, but I have an early day tomorrow."

"Oh? What's going on?" Ellie asked.

"Well, I have an early doctor's appointment, then I have a session with my guy," Jill answered.

"Oh, you're in therapy?" Sarah asked. She hoped that she'd finally found some crack in the seemingly impenetrable armor that was Jill's perfect life with Sarah's husband and his family.

"Not exactly," Jill answered vaguely.

"She's just being modest," Ellie piped in. "Jill has been working with people at the prison. She helps rehabilitate them before they're set free. This guy is her greatest success."

"It's _his_ success, Ellie," Jill lightly corrected. "I'm just glad I can help. And this guy in particular is just the sweetest man."

"How do you know so much about rehabilitating prisoners, Jill?" Sarah asked, a knowing smirk on her face. Finally, she would have Jill. There was no getting out of this one.

"Well, Sarah," Jill said, taking on a condescending tone. "On top of my doctorate in bio-chemistry, I have a master's degree in psychology. It was just something I did on the side, at first. But it's so rewarding to help bring people back into the real world. Everyone deserves a second chance, and I'm glad to help people like Jack."

"Jack?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah, that's the guy's name," Jill said nonchalantly. "Jack Burton. He was in for fraud and a couple of other things, which I guess doesn't really matter. But I've been working with him for some time now."

Sarah was reeling again at the mention of her father's name. She looked over to see Chuck wincing as well.

"So this Jack is going to be getting out of prison soon then?" Sarah asked.

"Well, he's been out for awhile," Jill answered. "But he insisted on still meeting with me. He's really turned his life around through his hard work."

"Give yourself credit, Jill," Ellie said. "He never could have done it without you. After all, didn't you tell us he called you 'the daughter he never had'?"

Jill laughed again, blushing slightly from the praise that was being heaped onto her. "Well, yeah, he did. He'd just the sweetest man."

Sarah had stopped paying attention to the conversation altogether. _The daughter he never had? What about me?_ The blonde's thought went back to a time years previous when her father had denied her.

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_"Dad, please!? It's my wedding!" Sarah implored her father._

_"I'm sorry, darlin'. I know you're in love, or whatever with the schnook-"_

_"Chuck!" Sarah reminded him._

_"Yeah, whatever. I know you and Charlie are in love, but I just don't think I can make it. I'm sorry," Jack said. Sarah couldn't help but to think that her father sounded not the least bit resentful. His apology fell flat. _

_"But dad, I'm your daughter. I love you, and I really want you to be there to walk me down the isle. It would mean a lot to me," Sarah said, meaning every word of what she said. _

_"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm sorry about that Sarah, I really am, but there are just some things that have come up, and I don't think I can make it. Listen, I gotta run. You take care of yourself, darlin'," Jack said, and with that, the call disconnected, leaving Sarah literally holding the phone._

_Once again, her father had failed to come through for her. Once again, Jack hadn't been there for his only daughter. It wasn't like she was asking that much. She just wanted him to be a part of her life, but again, she was rebuffed. Sarah wondered, with tears in her eyes, if Jack would ever be there for her. She didn't think that he would. A part of her didn't think he even thought of her as his daughter anymore.

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_A/N: Okay, there it is. So now Jill has taken Sarah's husband, his family, the right to have Chuck's children, and now, Sarah's own father. How can things get worse for her? Well, I'm sure I'll figure something out, haha. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and I look forward to your feedback. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: Same as before. I own nothing, and all credit goes to Schwartz and Fedak for creating Chuck, and to Malamoo for creating this universe that I'm playing around in._

_A/N: Okay, you wanted to know how I could crap on Sarah more? Well, here it is! I've found a way to make our favorite blonde spy even more miserable! As this story progresses, I realize that it gets further, and further away from **Malamoo's Chuck vs. the Second Chance**, but I'm still trying to mirror that great fic as much as possible. In this chapter, I kind of mirrored what is going on in Moo's piece more than I have in awhile. Of course, I had to change certain names, to protect the innocent, hehe. But rest assured, Jill will piss Sarah off even more, despite being absent from this chapter! I hope you enjoy it, and please review. Thanks!

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Sarah taps her foot impatiently as Chuck leaves _another_ message for Jill. He'd had to hide his excitement over the news that he was becoming a father from Ellie, and to his credit, he'd tried not to let it show too much in front of Sarah, but it was of no use. Sarah knew that Chuck was looking forward to having a kid. She'd long ago figured out that Chuck wanted a family. A real wife, a kid, a house…maybe a dog.

Sarah had never admitted it to Chuck, but she wanted all of those things too. God how she wanted those things. And she only wanted those things with one man: her husband, Chuck.

But those days were long passed. Sarah had made her decision long ago. She chose the job. She chose being an agent over having the things that she actually wanted.

She couldn't begrudge Chuck for seeking out his life dreams in her absence, could she? Well, of course she could. She would try to keep quiet about it, but it was bound to come out at some point. Sarah only hoped that it didn't come out while they were at the convention. _Oh shit! This is still a mission, get your crap together, Walker. You're an agent, not a very jealous wife. _

"Chuck," Sarah urged him, "We have to go, like _five_ minutes ago!"

"Oh, right, coming. I'm sorry," Chuck said, grabbing the folder from the side table and heading towards the door.

Sarah took in his appearance, and she had to admit, he looked good. His suit fit him just right. His hair was perfect, but still adorable. The only thing missing was the warm smile and loving eyes that she used to know. Of course, Sarah had taken those with her when she walked out the door long ago.

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The convention was chaotic, to put it mildly. People were buzzing around, the walls of the room echoed the hundreds of voices of programmers, reporters, and enthusiasts. Sarah was uncomfortable in this kind of environment, and with the role she was supposed to be playing. She was supposed to be Chuck's loving wife, and she hadn't been that in far too long. Oh, she still loved him. Of that, she was sure, but he had clearly moved on with his life. He didn't have a place for her anymore.

And so it was that after Sarah busted these guys that were threatening her husband, she would wrap the mission and made a beeline out of LA as quickly as possible. She didn't want, and didn't need to be reminded of all the things she'd denied herself when she left anymore.

And so it was that Sarah found herself sitting in a chair, far away from Chuck, observing as he did his tech babble thing. He was so in his element here. She wished that she could really be a part of it, and not some prop here for his protection only. Her inner longing and thoughts were broken suddenly by a screeching voice.

"Oh my God! Are you her?" asked the voice.

"Am I who?" Sarah asked, narrowing her eyes at the intruder to her privacy.

"Mrs. Bartowski?"

"Yes," Sarah said, feigning a smile. "That's me. What can I do for you?"

"Hi, I'm Jane Cobb, a reporter with Tech World News Weekly. I can't believe I'm actually meeting _the legend_."

"I'm the legend?" Sarah asked, quirking a disbelieving eyebrow at the woman.

"Well, yeah," Jane said, as if it was the dumbest question ever. "Charles comes to all of these events, and we interview him all the time for his fantastic work, but you're never there. Some people were starting to think you didn't really exist. And some people thought that his 'assistant' that he brings with him sometimes was actually his wife, but I told them that couldn't be her."

"What assistant?" Sarah asked with a deadly glare fixed on the reporter.

"You know, Joan, or Jan…wait…Jill, that's it. Anyway, I said that couldn't be his wife?"

"Oh yeah, Jill," Sarah bristled. Then the possible ramifications of what the reporter said came to mind. "Wait, why don't you think Chuck would marry someone like Jill? Not pretty enough?" she asked hopefully.

"Oh, no!" Jane said. "Jill is beautiful. She just looks a little young for Mr. Bartowski. You look more his age. So how long have you two been together? Two, three decades?" Jane asked innocently.

Once again, murder appeared in the eyes of the blonde. She did _not_ look that old! And she certainly didn't look older than Jill. Did she?

"Jill knows Chuck from college. They went to school together," Sarah said through gritted teeth. "I'm actually younger than both of them," she lied. A little white lie never hurt anyone, after all.

"Oh, really? Wow, she looks fantastic. I never would have guess."

"Thank you for your time," Sarah said, now on the verge of choking this Jane Cobb right in the middle of the convention, but knowing she couldn't blow her cover. "I think you probably have more _important_ people to talk to."

"Yeah, I guess I should be going. Is Jill here, by the way? She's always been so sweet to me when we've talked before. I'd love to say hi."

"No!" Sarah growled, and stormed off from the nosy, rude, and Sarah thought, kind of chubby reporter. _

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_A/N: Okay, so that's it for now. What will Jill do next to screw Sarah's life up? I guess you'll have to wait and find out, as even I don't know yet, haha. It depends largely on what Malamoo does in her fic. Well, that, and what kind of mood I'm in. But no matter my mood, I'm generally up for messing with Sarah's mind, so yes, more to come to be sure. I hope you enjoyed it, and I look forward to your feedback. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck, and the premise for this story was developed by the immaculate Malamoo_

_A/N: Okay, so I don't know if this chapter is as strong as some of the previous ones, but I'm really tired, and I wanted to get this done, hehe. Hopefully it will still have some good laughs in it for you. This one is almost totally a take off on the latest chapter of **Malamoo's Chuck vs. the Second Chance**. I know all of them haven't been, but this one is. Also, it's not really that much more harsh on Sarah than Moo's chapter, but she busted Sarah's balls so hard that I was pretty much limited in what I could do with it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it still, and please review. Thanks!

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Sarah paced around the perimeter of the convention center. She wasn't securing Chuck's safety, or looking out for the persons of interest, however. She was instead trying to shake her feelings of extreme anger while pacifying herself with thoughts of how many ways she could kill that reporter with a spork.

Finally getting her murderous rage down to a dull hatred, she decided to make her way to catering. She was thirsty, after all, and things couldn't get any worse than being called old by some young chippie. Or so she thought. She would of course be proven wrong.

"Oh my God!" said a feminine voice, drawing Sarah's attention immediately. "Bartowski? That must mean you're…"

"Yes, I am," Sarah drawled.

"Wow, I can't believe Charles got a new personal assistant. I really liked Jill, too. How long have you been working for him?" the woman asked.

"I'm not his secretary," Sarah said through gritted teeth. "I'm his _wife, _Sarah."

"Oh," the woman seemed to be taking in Sarah's appearance. "Oh, hmm, never would have thought it."

"And why's that?" Sarah asked impatiently.

"I don't know. I guess I just never figured Charles for the type to be into cougars," the woman answered shrugging.

"Cougar?" Sarah said, all the rage from before returning to her eyes. "I'm not old! I'm younger than Chuck," she said, repeating her lie from earlier.

"Really? Wow. I'm sorry. You just look very…" the woman paused, seemingly to find a diplomatic way to tell Sarah she looked old, "dignified?"

Sarah seethed. This woman couldn't even placate someone properly. "Thank you," Sarah said sarcastically. "Now if you'll excuse me…"

Sarah began to walk away, but quickly encountered a large group of women who seemed to take an immediate interest in Sarah.

"Bartowski?" said one of them. "Wait, where's Jill? Dammit, I was hoping she'd join us for drinks again."

"This is Sarah, Charles's wife," said the woman from before as she exchanged a look with the other women that seemed to convey some message. Sarah wasn't sure what it was, but she was pretty sure she wouldn't like it if she found out.

"Oooohh," the women all cooed with feigned enthusiasm.

"So tell me, how'd you rope in a big fish like Charles?" the drunkest of the pigeon brigade asked, tipping back her champagne flute to drain the rest of her drink. "Pregnancy trap?"

"Charles and I don't have any children," Sarah said, only a hint of the immense anger she was feeling coming through. "We married because we were in love – are in love," she corrected.

"I'm sure you are," said another woman condescendingly. The woman then turned to one of her friends and began to whisper. Most people wouldn't have been able to hear what was said. Sarah was not most people. "I think the only one that gets any _love_ from Charles is Jill. No wonder this bitch fired her." The two women laughed at the derogatory comment. It as all Sarah could do not to produce a knife from her thigh sheath and gut the two broads where they stood.

"You don't come to these things very much, do you?" asked another woman. "Of course, if Charles is going to dress you like _that_, I can hardly blame you."

"Well, why put lipstick on a pig?" asked another woman. Sarah had never felt so attacked in her life, and she'd been a spy for nearly two decades. And why would they call her a pig? She was in excellent shape!

"Girls!" said the most attractive of the collected women. "Leave our new friend alone. She's no doubt got enough problems as it is."

"What do you mean?" asked Sarah. Surely all of these women didn't know about Chuck and Jill. They had to think it was just a rumor, right? God, how Sarah wished it was just a rumor.

"Honey, denial isn't just a river in Africa. You have to see what's going on with your husband."

"And what's that?" Sarah asked though narrowed eyes.

"Jill, his secretary? Don't take it personally. Successful men just need to take their business elsewhere every now and then. It's a part of the game. You shouldn't be upset that he sometimes needs the company of someone younger, prettier, and smarter."

"I'm younger than Jill!" Sarah boomed.

"Of course you are," one of the women laughed. "But even so, she's still really pretty and smart."

"I'm prettier than Jill," Sarah said, trying to convince herself as much as these women.

This caused a fit of laughter from the collected, causing Sarah to blush with anger and embarrassment. She felt like she was Jenny Burton, back in high school again.

Finally the laughter died down, and someone spoke up. "Well, everyone has their own taste in women, I suppose. But surely you have to admit that Jill is really smart. She went to Stanford with Charles, for crying out loud."

"I went to Harvard," Sarah said coldly. She wasn't sure why she was revealing that to these women that didn't deserve to know anything about her, but their Jill love had put her on the defensive in a way she'd never been before.

"Ha, of course you did," said one of the women in disbelief. "Come on, girls. Let's leave Ms. Bartowski to her little delusions."

The women finally walked away, and for the second time since arriving at the conference, and for what must have been the hundredth time since arriving back in LA, Sarah kind of wanted to die. Okay, she really wanted to die. But first, she kind of wanted to make those other women die first. That would make death just a little sweeter.

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_A/N: That's it for now. It's time for Wepdiggy to get some sleep. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck, and the premise for this story was developed by the immaculate Malamoo_

_A/N: Okay, so I don't know if this chapter is as strong as some of the previous ones, but I'm really tired, and I wanted to get this done, hehe. Hopefully it will still have some good laughs in it for you. This one is almost totally a take off on the latest chapter of **Malamoo's Chuck vs. the Second Chance**. Actually, Moo's version was much tougher on Sarah than this one. I kind of gave Sarah a break…finally. She even gets a happy moment. In fact, the parody part of this one is more a take off on Moo's argument between Chuck and Sarah. I kind of just went over the top with that. Hopefully this isn't TOO boring and ridiculous, hehe. But this is the first chapter that I start moving things towards the eventual conclusion I now have planned for this fic. It's subtle in this one, but it will become more apparent as we move forward. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to your reviews. Thanks!

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Sarah sat alone in the corner of the room, her mind somewhere between a homicidal outburst that would no doubt claim everyone in attendance, and curling into the fetal position and hiding from the world.

"Are you alright?" she heard a voice ask. Chuck's voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she lied.

"You look tired," Chuck observed.

"Do I look old to you, Chuck?" she asked suddenly.

Chuck looked surprised by her question, and frankly, he was. He made the typical male mistake of not answering her immediately, and instead, he really looked at her. She _did_ look a lot older than he'd remembered. The lines on her face were much deeper than they should be for someone her age. Her eyes didn't hold the light that they once held. Her golden tresses that had, years ago, seem to float on the air around her now hung flat on her head.

"Well do I?" Sarah demanded.

"Well, old is such a subjective work…"

"Chuck!" Sarah spat.

"Sarah, listen. You've have a hard life, and it's probably just catching up with you."

Sarah wanted to cry. Not only had Chuck completely moved on from her with that bitch Jill, but he didn't even find her attractive anymore. How could things have gotten screwed up so much?

Chuck, seeming to sense the pain in the eyes of his wife – and despite everything, Sarah still was his wife – grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet.

"Come on, let's get out of here," he said.

"Where are we going?" Sarah asked.

"Meh, I figure we should probably grab some lunch. I'm famished," Chuck answered simply.

"Lunch?" Sarah asked in a child-like voice. "You mean you actually want to go somewhere with a weathered old hag like me?"

"Well, despite everything, you're still my wife, Sarah. And you still need to eat," Chuck said with a lopsided smile.

_Still my wife_. Sarah brightened instantly at the small show of affection. She hadn't felt this happy in…well, a long time.

Chuck noted the change in Sarah's disposition. He hadn't wanted to tell her how much her appearance had deteriorated over the years, and he was really just trying to cheer her up some with this olive branch, but the joy she clearly felt seemed to do something to her physically. Her posture improved. The lines on her face seemed to fade, if just a little. Her eyes had a little more life. Even her hair didn't look as flat.

He didn't know what was going on, and honestly, he was afraid to ask, so he let it be, for the moment.

As the two walked out of the door, a colleague of Chuck's stopped them to say hello. It was then that Chuck noted a piece of jewelry the other man was wearing. A strange pinkie ring. And then, suddenly Chuck experienced a sensation he hadn't felt in years. There was a tingling in the back of his mind, and his eyes rolled back in his head. The flash was brief, and Sarah nor the other man didn't seem to pick up on it, so for now, he kept quiet.

When they got to the car, Sarah turned to Chuck. "So, where are we going?"

"Sarah, what exactly is your mission here?" Chuck asked, seemingly out of the blue.

"What? You know I can't tell you that, Chuck," she answered sadly.

"I need to know, Sarah."

"I'm sorry, Chuck. What do you want me to say?"

"Okay, here's the deal. I flashed, just before we left. I might know something, but the information in my head…"

"It's old, yeah, I know. But if you flashed, you need to tell me," Sarah insisted.

"First I need to know why you're here. This might not even be important," Chuck said.

"It is important."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No it is not."

"I assure you that it is."

"Fine," Chuck said. "Okay, on the count of three, I'll tell you what the flash was, and you tell me why you're here. Deal?" he asked.

Sarah seemed to contemplate the offer for a moment. Finally. "Deal," she said.

"Okay, one, two, three," Chuck counted. When he reached three, neither of them said anything.

"You were supposed to tell me what your flash was!" Sarah said irritated.

"And you were supposed to tell me your mission," Chuck pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but I wasn't going to. I was trying to trick you," Sarah admitted.

"Well, you'll have to try harder than that!" Chuck said.

"Was it that guy?" Sarah guessed.

"Fine, yeah, it was. But I don't think he's the one you're looking for. Besides, the stuff in my head, it's so old, it's probably wrong, right?"

"I don't know," Sarah said softly. "I should probably follow up on it."

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_A/N: So was it funny at all? You can be honest. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Okay, first of all, this is a work of parody! For all of you that don't get that, bite me! I hate getting reviews that say "Oh, why is Chuck being so mean to Sarah." Or, "Oh, why does Jill have to be there." Or, "Hey, what did you have for dinner, Wep?" Okay, the last one isn't true. I never get upset when you ask me what I had for dinner. I like it, in fact. _

_But quit telling me about how mean Chuck is. Or about how things suck for Sarah. Maybe Sarah is secretly happy with how things turned out. Do you know? Of course not! I'm writing this, not you! I know all, and I see all, and I smell all. And it smells like candy. Yes, the distinct smell of candy. If you can't smell that, then why are you still reading? Clearly you don't get it. _

_And maybe Sarah brought this all on herself. Did you ever think about that? I'll bet that you didn't. So often the readers don't think. They just say things in chat forums and other places that are way off base. So quit doing that. And review. But only review with the things I tell you are alright to say. Like asking me what I had for dinner. _

_Okay, that's all for now. Enjoy. But only enjoy the way I tell you to enjoy it! And review…the way I tell you to review. Thanks!

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When they sat down in the restaurant, Chuck haphazardly slung his coat over the back of his chair. The seemingly innocuous action had a much undesired effect. The inside pocket of the jacket was turned upside down just long enough to allow the many business cards inside to spill to the floor.

Sarah instinctually leaned down to assist Chuck in the retrieval of the cards. That's when she realized what she was looking at. Each card was adorned with a woman's name, a phone number, and the unmistakable smell of perfume. Each was different, but they were all kind of the same. Some even had a lipstick kiss on them. Her husband had been collecting possibilities for a booty call.

"What are these Chuck?" Sarah asked indignantly.

"They are, um, business contacts," Chuck answered unconvincingly.

"Business? Is that what you're calling it now? Does Jill know about this?" Sarah asked. She couldn't believe she was taking up for Jill, but it seemed like the best way to get her point across to Chuck.

"Jill knows everything," Chuck spat. "There are no secrets between us."

Sarah couldn't help but notice the hidden meaning in his words. _No secrets_. Secrets had always been the biggest dividing factor in the relationship she had with her husband. Even back when he was still working with her, she'd kept many things from him. She'd never let him see the real her. She'd never told him much about her true past at all. And she'd never told him how she felt about him. Not that she was even sure how she felt. That was a secret she kept not just from Chuck, but from herself.

"So Jill knows that you're hooking up with, what, hundreds of women? I somehow doubt that," Sarah said. It just didn't sound right. It didn't sound like the Chuck she had known all those years ago. The Chuck that she had left. _Did I cause the change in him?_

"It's business, Sarah. Just like I said. You of all people would understand that, I would think," Chuck said accusingly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sarah asked. She was now looking at him through narrowed eyes, daring him to call her what she thought he was calling her.

"Sometimes, we have to do things we aren't comfortable doing. For the job," Chuck clarified. "You think that's something that is reserved for spies like you?"

"So tell me how it is that you _entertaining_ these women relates to your business," Sarah demanded.

"I don't really feel the need to defend my business practices to you. Nor do I feel the need to tell you the complete nature of my business. God knows you aren't telling me just what it is you're doing here," Chuck reminded her.

"That's different," Sarah defended.

"And how's that?" he asked.

"Because, all you need to know is that part of why I am here is to look after you. And I'm here to observe your business. Anything like these random hookups, for business or not, you should have made me aware of," she explained.

"Really?" Chuck asked. "And what am I getting out of all of this?"

That certainly wasn't something the Chuck she used to know would ask. He'd always been so selfless. He always did things for other people. He always wanted to do the right thing. Had she completely ruined him? Of course she had.

"I'm sorry I did this to you, Chuck," Sarah said, her voice full of emotion.

"What?" Chuck asked.

"I'm sorry if what happened when I…what happened between us did this to you. If I made you into something different," Sarah clarified.

"Don't flatter yourself, Agent Walker," Chuck said flatly. "I guess I just decided to grow up and make things happen for myself. You certainly don't deserve all the credit for that."

"Credit?" Sarah asked. "How can you see this as a positive thing?" she asked.

"Well," Chuck began, "for starters, I'm a successful business man now. I have one of the top gaming companies in the world. People look up to me. I'm a big fucking deal. I'd say that's a pretty positive thing, wouldn't you?"

Sarah simply nodded. When it was put like that, she didn't know how she could argue his point.

"And on top of that, I'm actually happy. I have a loving girlfriend. I have a kid on the way apparently. And I never want for company of the opposite sex. My life is great," he added.

"Chuck, I…I don't know what to say. I guess you never needed me," Sarah said sadly.

"Oh, I did," Chuck said, softening slightly. "There was a time that I needed you. I needed you to protect me. I needed you to get me out of a horrible funk I was in. And in the end, I needed you to leave me so that I could see that I could do it all along, on my own. You were a great stepping stone for me."

"That's all I was to you?" Sarah asked, near tears.

"Once upon a time, you were so much more than that to me," Chuck said. "But those days are over. I have a lot more going on in my life now."

Sarah's face fell even further. There had always been a part of her that hoped that there was still a part of Chuck that wanted her. That needed her. That loved her. That hope was dying with every word he spoke.

"Now," Chuck said. "If you'll finish your lunch, I have _clients_ to get back to. I'm sure you understand."

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_A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, nor is this idea really original. That's kind of the rub of doing parody work, I suppose. _

_A/N: Okay, so when I first started writing Chuck fic, or even before I started, I had this one idea that really stuck in my head to try. I wrote a chapter or two of it, but nothing ever materialized, so no one ever saw that particular work. It was kind of William S. Burroughs meets "Chuck". But now, thanks to Moo and her alcoholic Sarah, I've been able to at least kind of pull the moth balls off of that one and present it in a way I never thought I would: thought parody. Moo's Sarah drinks, mine loves the smack, hehe. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review. Thanks!

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She couldn't let Chuck see her like this, but it was becoming more and more apparent that she wouldn't have a choice. She'd burned through her entire supply of Subutex the first two days back in LA, and now that the opiate blocking affect had worn off, she'd had to get her fix somehow.

Luckily Carina still knew some low level people in the greater Los Angeles area, so with one call to her long time friend, scoring had been no problem for Sarah. Now she was laid out on the couch, floating with enough morphine coursing through her blood stream to kill most people, and potentially some jungle cats.

But Sarah Walker wasn't a normal person. She didn't have a little chicken shit habit. No, she was strung out like a rock star, and being back in the environment that had led to her addiction, and having to go without her crutch, the Subutex, she was left with no choice but to push herself to the brink of overdose.

It didn't help that the Mexican mud that was so often slung on the West Coast didn't touch the China White she was accustomed to fixing with. Hell, she'd be almost better off with hillbilly heroin. But it was just another Sarah Walker hang-up that she didn't stoop to that level. Prescription drugs were for pussies, and Sarah Walker wasn't a pussy. She was just really, really high. And terrified that Chuck would come in and find her strung out. Or dead.

She almost hoped for the latter.

* * *

"You brought this shit into my home!?" Chuck shouted, waking Sarah from her drug induced sleep.

"Huh, hmm?" Sarah asked unintelligently.

"What the fuck is this, Sarah?" Chuck asked, holding up her works that were scattered about the coffee table.

"That's none of your damn business!" Sarah growled, reaching for the supplies in Chuck's hands. Instead she grabbed only air and plummeted unceremoniously to the floor.

Chuck looked down at his wife, laid pathetically on the floor. For the first time, maybe ever, he looked at Sarah Walker with pity in his eyes as she began to thrash about, screaming.

"Give it to me!" she demanded. "I need it!"

"You need help, Sarah," Chuck said softly.

"What do you care?" Sarah asked, still deep into her tantrum. "You're too busy fucking every software groupie, and that skank Jill to care about me! Just give me the only thing in my life that matters!"

"You don't mean that," Chuck said. He hoped he was right, but something told him that Sarah really believed what she was saying.

"What? That you're sleeping with every woman on earth, or that I need it? Because they're both true!" Sarah yelled.

"Sarah, I," Chuck didn't know what to say. "You need to pull it together," he finally managed. He began to walk towards the door, then turning around, "Your phone's been ringing all morning."

_Work_. That was all it took to get her somewhat back to rational thought. She had to get in touch with her boss. If the director had been calling all morning, that was probably a bad thing. Chuck was right. She had to get her shit straight.

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Two hours later, and a couple of doses of Suboxone, Sarah was at least somewhat functional again. She was very hungry, as always seemed to happen when she dosed on her medication, but it was no big deal to go without food. It wasn't the first thing she'd denied herself in her life that she knew she wanted.

Chuck had left hours ago for the convention, and Sarah had promised to meet up with him again when she was more "normal". That promise had tasted bitter on her tongue. After all, Chuck had made it abundantly clear years before that she was anything _but_ normal. And Sarah had done nothing in the years since to disprove that theory.

She smoothed out her dress, checked her hair in the bathroom mirror once more, and she had to admit, for having been high as a kite just hours before, she looked immaculate. Of course, that qualification might be what had led to so many people thinking she was older than she was, but Sarah shook that negative thought from her head. Confidence was beauty, and she had to be confident to make this work.

She produced her phone from her pocket and finally prepared to return the calls of her superior at the agency.

"Walker, secure."

"About damn time, Walker. Where the hell have you been?" asked the director.

"Oh, um, I was just getting in some morning exercise, going over some leads, you know. The usual," Sarah lied.

"Please tell me you're not on the horse again?" said the man.

"What? No! Of course not!" Sarah said indignantly.

"I don't believe you," stated the director. "Does you husband know about your little habit?"

"It's in the past," Sarah said firmly. "But he knows that I was addicted at one time," she said, weaker this time.

"So should we start filing the divorce papers for you?" asked the man smugly.

"No!" Sarah said in a panic. "It's fine. I'm fine. We're fine," she lied. "I'm sure everything is going to work out."

"Is that right?" asked the director. He didn't sound at all convinced.

"Yeah, totally," Sarah said.

"So this isn't going to turn out like your past few missions?"

"What are you talking about?" Sarah asked dangerously. "I'm the best goddamn agent you have!"

"So the 'best goddamn agent I have' couldn't find a way to _not_ shoot their last partner?" he asked, still smug.

"He was being a dick. And he wouldn't let me do my job," Sarah stated defiantly.

"And the 'best goddamn agent I have' couldn't find a way to bring back that informant alive?"

"He tried to run! We couldn't let him fall into enemy hands. It was really the only option."

"Uh-huh," said the Director, clearly unconvinced. "Well, I'm sure the fact that you were out of Subutex in both instances had nothing to do with you compromising the integrity of the missions in order to finish them in a _friendlier_ timeframe."

Sarah growled. She didn't have an answer for the accusations. Hell, somewhere deep inside of her, she knew the Director was right. But her pride wouldn't let her admit that. Her pride told her that she'd done the right thing. Her pride told her she didn't need the smack…or her old life.

"Anyway, that's not why I wanted to talk to you," the man said, changing the subject.

"Good, because I had nothing left to say on the subject," Sarah supplied.

"Watch you tone, Agent," the Director threatened.

"Sorry, sir," Sarah mumbled.

"Anyway, so we think we have a lead worth investigating," he said.

"And…"

"Charles Irving Bartowski," the Director stated.

"Wait, what? My husband? He doesn't have anything to do with this!" Sarah said panicking again. "He's just a civilian!"

"He's no ordinary civilian, _Mrs. Bartowski_. And I think you know that. He's been dealing with some shady characters."

"And what do you want me to do about that?" Sarah asked, concern lacing her voice.

"You need to find out what he knows," he said plainly. "Use any means necessary."

"You're ordering me to sleep with him?" Sarah asked.

"He's your husband, surely that won't be a problem. You mean to tell me you two haven't done anything since you've been back?" he asked incredulously.

Sarah didn't want to admit that her husband was sleeping with other women, one in particular. She didn't want to admit that she wasn't the center of Chuck's world anymore, not even to her boss. Her damn pride was getting in the way again.

"I'll do what I must," she stated flatly.

"See that you do. I would hate to have to send someone else to do this _job_," said the Director.

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_A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, and this is a work of parody. It's a parody of a fic by Malamoo, in case you're lame and you couldn't get that from the title. _

_A/N: Okay folks, yes, Sarah has some issues. And Chuck does too, for that mater. They're both more than a little screwed up. And it's SO much fun to write, haha. I guess I should thank Moo for giving me this wonderfully fun universe to play around in. And if she keeps up this break-neck updating pace, it will be the only universe I have time to play around in, haha. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy it. Please review. Thanks!

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Sarah knew she looked horrible. The tears she'd shed after her call with the Director had assured that her hours of work on her makeup had been for naught. She was able to hide her puffy, red eyes with sunglasses, but anyone that saw her would think she looked even older than she did the day before.

As she entered the convention hall, she saw a flyer for the upcoming lecture: "The Internet: An Eternal Means of Communication, or a Dying Filter for Shared Pornography?" it read. Knowing that most of the people from the conference would be at the lecture, thus making it a perfect place to try to make contact with some potential leads, Sarah began to make her way to the main hall where the larger panels were held.

Walking in, she saw that almost all of the seats down front were taken. It was just as well. She didn't want to sit before the scrutinizing eyes of others anyway. Looking to the back, there were two rows of seats that remained vacant, save one lone figure. It was the figure of the man that Sarah had hoped to avoid for as long as possible: Chuck.

She moved to one of those back seats as stealthily as possible, but she knew that she couldn't avoid his notice. He looked up, just slightly from the literature for the coming lecture he was going over, and she knew she'd been sighted. There was no avoiding contact now.

"Hi Chuck," she said weakly.

Chuck grunted in acknowledgement. Then, "Shades, Sarah? Really?"

"What? It's really bright in here," she defended lamely. "What I want to know is why you're wearing such a heavy sweater. It must be 80 degrees in this room."

Chuck _was_ wearing a heavy sweater. Of course, he was using it to cover certain marks. Marks that he didn't want just anyone to see. But he couldn't hide it from Sarah forever. And she did kind of deserve to know.

"Fine, I'll lose the sweater, you lose the glasses, deal?" he asked.

Sarah nodded in reply, and they both removed the offending garments and accessories.

"Oh my God!" Sarah exclaimed. "Were you attacked by a vacuum cleaner?"

"Shhh!" Chuck chastised. "I don't need the attention, please? And why are your eyes so red?"

_Because I've been crying over being ordered to be with you. Being ordered to be where I should be._

"I was sick," she lied.

"Uh-huh," Chuck replied unconvincingly. He'd long ago learned to distinguish a Sarah Walker lie. But seeing as he had love bites all over his neck that she was now seeing, he really didn't want to start an argument over that in the middle of all of these people.

"So who did that to you, Chuck? Jill?" Sarah asked dangerously.

"No, it wasn't Jill," Chuck admitted.

"Then who? Tell me!" she demanded.

"Don't worry about it Sarah. It's over."

"It's not over!" Sarah said, her voice getting louder and louder. "I want to know who was sucking on my husband's neck!"

"Sarah, shhh!" Chuck said. "This isn't the place for this."

"Fine," Sarah huffed. "Then later." Her voice didn't leave any room for argument.

Not that Chuck was really worried about that conversation to come. Sure, she might try to talk to him about all of this, but she had some demons to answer for as well that he knew she wouldn't want to be brought to the forefront. And now that he'd figured her out, he knew she would try to get off the horse. He knew that withdraws were in her future. And when they came, she'd be far too busy shaking, vomiting, and shitting herself to worry about his many sorted affairs.

God, how did their lives get so fucked up?

* * *

_Sarah had been gone for two weeks on her latest assignment before she finally made it back home. Chuck wondered if she even considered it home anymore. _

_She'd come home sometime after midnight, and slipped into bed as quietly as possible. She thought she'd avoided waking him, but she hadn't. He never slept much anymore anyway. He was always worried about her. Worried about them. _

_But he'd let her think he was asleep, and he'd slipped out of bed to make himself some coffee. When he got to the kitchen, he saw Sarah's discarded bag sitting by the door. He told himself that he should leave it alone. That he shouldn't pry into her business, her belongings. That he should just let it go. But he couldn't. She was his wife, and he was supposed to worry about her. _

_So Chuck went over to the door to retrieve the bag. He started going through it, making special note of how thing were placed so that he could put them back exactly like the were before. _

_What he found troubled him deeply. There were four prescription bottles for Vicodin. Each bottle carried a different name, no doubt all Sarah's aliases, and three of them were empty. The other one was almost empty too, only having two pills left. _

_Chuck shook his head. He couldn't believe he'd let something like this fly under his radar for so long. Sarah had never taken more than an Aspirin for her aches and pains when they were working together. For her to now have a fully formed habit was unthinkable. _

_He sat the bottles on the counter, knowing that it was something that needed to be addressed in the morning. He'd long thought that he might be losing his wife, but he wasn't going to lose her to substance abuse. If she left him, it would be for something more important than that. _

_When Sarah awoke in the morning, she couldn't help but notice the absence of her husband in their bed. Slowly, groggily, she made her way towards the kitchen. When she got there, she went straight to her duffle bag and began to dig around, unaware of the presence of the other person in the room. _

_"Looking for these?" Chuck asked, shaking the bottle with two pills remaining. _

_"You went through my stuff?" Sarah asked indignantly. _

_"Well, someone needed to. What are you doing Sarah? If you want to kill yourself, why not just stick a gun in your mouth?" It was tough love. He knew he needed to get through to her somehow. _

_"I'm not killing myself, Chuck!" Sarah defended. "I have it all under control."_

_"Four bottles? Yeah, you look like you have it under control," Chuck snorted. _

_"It's just…it's complicated."_

_"Complicated? Since when is drug abuse complicated? You have a problem, and I think we need to talk about it," Chuck demanded. _

_Of course he wanted to talk about it. Chuck always wanted to talk about things. Sarah knew that about him. It's why she never told him about her problems. He'd make her talk, and she wasn't ready to talk. She couldn't admit yet that she had a problem. That _they_ had problems. _

_"Not now, Chuck," Sarah said weakly. "I'm going to take a shower." _

_And with that, she left the room. They wouldn't have a talk now, nor would they ever if Sarah had anything to say about it. As long as nothing was ever said, nothing would truly be wrong.

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_A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Okay, so I promised Moo two updates to match her two updates, but I just didn't have the drive to push out that much right now. And I was having trouble finding enough to parody through the two updates, so I just made one chapter out of it. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint you fine folks. And hey, I'm giving you some nice Charah, which many people don't give you anymore, so there's that. I hope you enjoy it. And also, umm…OK I had another point, but I forgot it. Meh, no matter. Anyway, yeah, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I look forward to your feedback. That means review, of course, haha. Thanks!

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They'd driven back to the house in silence.

Chuck didn't want to bring up his indiscretions and Sarah certainly didn't want to discuss her addiction problems.

She was the reason he cheated.

He was the reason she was on drugs.

Later on in the evening, Chuck and Sarah peacefully watching some non-descript television show. Chuck thought that her meds seemed to be working as her twitches were gone, and she didn't seem to be in any pain. But she hadn't taken them. It was his closeness that brought her peace, even if she wouldn't, couldn't tell him that.

At some point, Sarah had begun to rest her head on Chuck's shoulder. Without thinking, he'd wrapped his arm around her and drawn her closer.

There was something so familiar, so comfortable with their current situation. It was how they'd spent most of their nights, back in the time before. It was how they'd acted on countless cover dates with Ellie and Devon before they were married. And once they'd become real, and when they'd lived together, nothing had changed. It was when they were closest, both physically, and emotionally.

Suddenly, Sarah was transported back to that time. Back when they were happy. They'd stay like they were for hours, until she would finally grow tired of the inaction, and then she'd look up at him, and he'd stare back at her. Then she'd kiss him, very gently, on the lips. He'd slowly return the kiss. She'd shift so that she was completely in his lap, and their lips would continue to entangle. Clothes would begin to leave their bodies, and then they'd make love. It was almost a nightly ritual.

Back in the present, she thought for a moment…no, he wouldn't. But maybe…

"This is nice," Sarah sighed, testing the waters.

"Yeah, it is," Chuck admitted candidly. "It's almost like-"

"Almost like it was?" Sarah interrupted.

"Yeah," Chuck said sadly.

She waited then. Could that be the okay to do what she wanted to do? How would he react if she kissed him? Would he kiss her back? Would he push her away? _Only one way to find out…_

Sarah guardedly reached up and placed her hand on the back of Chuck's head, and pulled his face down to hers. She kissed him, as gently as she could. He didn't react at first. He wasn't pushing her away, true, but he wasn't responding in kind. She was just about to stop, to apologize. To try to take it all back, when he did react. He kissed her back, hard. It wasn't the soft, slow, tender way that she remembered him kissing her. It was anything but. _Maybe Jill likes it when he's more firm_, she mused. Then she pushed those negative thoughts from her mind. This was her moment. Jill could go to hell.

Just like in the old times, their kiss continued, and Sarah found her way into Chuck's lap. And just like old times, their clothes were soon hitting the floor. And just like old times, they made love, right there on the couch.

In the afterglow of their reunion, Sarah felt more satisfied, both physically and emotionally, than she had in years. For the first time since she could remember, there wasn't even a small part of her that craved getting high. She didn't want the drugs, and she didn't need them. She had her original addiction back, if only for the moment: Chuck.

Sarah felt Chuck rustling behind her, and she turned to meet his eyes, hoping to see the love and fulfillment that she knew resided in her own blue orbs. Instead, she was met with an expression of regret, and her heart, or what was left of it nearly broke.

"We shouldn't have done that," Chuck sighed.

"What? Why not?" Sarah asked, panicked.

"Because, it's just…you know, Sarah. It's just going to be more confusing for me, for you. It's going to make it _that_ much harder when you have to leave again," Chuck admitted.

"But, you, I, Chuck, I wanted that. And you did too, I know it!" Sarah demanded. "You can't tell me that you didn't."

"I did," Chuck said. "But-"

"But nothing Chuck. You wanted that, and I did too. Nothing else needs to be said." Sarah thought for a moment, then: "If you didn't want us to be together again, if there wasn't some small part of you that didn't still want that, then why are we still together? I sent you the divorce papers at least ten times, and every time…nothing from you."

Chuck sighed again. This was the conversation he'd wanted to avoid above all others. He hadn't wanted to tell Sarah this, because he knew how it sounded. He knew how it made _him_ sound. He didn't want her to think ill of him, but she deserved the truth, finally.

"Sarah, I…I didn't want to divorce you, because-"

"Because you still love me?" Sarah asked hopefully.

"Because I didn't want to give you half of my stuff, and I kind of figured if you were out in the field, that one day you just wouldn't be there anymore, and I wouldn't have to worry about it."

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_A/N: OK, so be honest, what did you think? Some nice Charah, no? And then Chuck turns back into a turd, yeah, I know. I'm not even sure this is funny, so let me know what you think. You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Okay, so I'm still recovering from my heroic battle with the evil swine flu, but I needed to get back into the swing of writing, and I thought this was a good place to start. Umm…this isn't a great chapter for the parody aspect of this piece, but I'm not sure where any of this is going right now, and I'm trying to keep it close to the source material. So this is more a retelling of what Moo has done through my own warped versions of the characters. _

_For those of you that are reading my other stuff, I'm doing my best to get back into writing, and I will, hopefully tonight. The sickness just put up a roadblock for me, and I'm trying to get my rhythm back as best I can. Hopefully it won't take to long. Okay, hope you enjoy it, and please review. Thanks!

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_

They hadn't spoken more than two or three words to one another since their discussion the previous night. Sarah was still hurting from Chuck's admission that she had become little more to him than a potential financial loss. That wasn't the Chuck she remembered from so many years ago. _Her_ Chuck was caring, and loving, and selfless. Had she only imagined the man he used to be? Had he become romanticized in her memories?

That couldn't be it. She clearly remembered the hero that put everything on the line for those that he loved. The man that always did the right thing, even at his own expense. When had that all changed? And who changed that about him?

A part of Sarah – a large part, in fact – feared that it was her that had changed him into the unmitigated asshole that he'd become. In that, they were ironically a better match now than they'd ever been. Sarah had long thought of herself as a horrible person. It was one of the things that had made leaving Chuck a little easier. She'd thought at the time that if she left him that she wouldn't risk ruining a beautiful person.

But then there was the other answer as to what, or who, could have changed the Chuck she used to know. The director told her that her husband had gotten mixed up with some shady characters. Sarah knew as well as anyone how that type of environment could bring out the worst in a person. She was proof positive as to what a life like that could do.

And if it was really those shady characters that had ruined her Chuck…well, they would pay dearly. Sarah would make sure of that.

They entered the convention center again, and once again, Chuck left her alone to make his rounds. She didn't know exactly what he was going to do, and honestly, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know. The physical evidence of what his "meetings" actually entailed had hurt enough already. She didn't need to see, or hear it for herself.

So Sarah, just like the previous days, found herself secluded to a quiet corner of the room, observing the many people that moved about. She wondered about each person she saw, and what their connection might be to the danger that Chuck now apparently found himself in.

She was pulled from her silent reverie by a light touch on her shoulder. She wanted more than anything to react violently towards the intruder, but despite her lack of professionalism as of late, she managed to push down that urge.

"Mrs. Bartowski?" asked a small, feminine voice.

"Yes?" Sarah replied through clinched teeth.

"I really hate to bother you, but if you could spare just a moment of your time…"

"I don't know. I'm supposed to be waiting on my husband," Sarah lied.

"It won't take long, I promise. I'm Peggy Olson with _Technology World for Women_, and it would mean a lot to get an interview with the wife of the great Charles Bartowski."

Sarah was torn. She wanted to do the interview the help Chuck. He deserved her best, even if he had been kind of a bastard to her. And the publicity would no doubt be appreciated, she was sure. Still, her first interview during this convention still had a sour taste in her mouth towards all reporters. _But this isn't about you. This is about Chuck._

Sarah sighed. "Okay, fine. I'll do a quick interview."

The reporter seemed to be suppressing an excited squeal, which didn't make Sarah feel anymore impressed by her decision to do the interview.

"It won't take long, I swear. Just come with me."

"Where are we going?"

"Oh, I just want to go somewhere a little quieter. Somewhere that I can actually hear what you're saying. This interview means a lot, you know," Peggy answered.

Sarah followed wordlessly as the reporter led her through the winding corridors of the convention center. They passed many rooms that Sarah thought would have served the purpose of "a quiet place", but still they walked.

"Just a little further," Peggy assured her.

And indeed it wasn't much further until Peggy opened the door to what appeared to be a completely empty room. There were no chairs, no tables, no anything. It was kind of depressing.

"Really? In here?" Sarah asked, almost indignantly.

That's when she heard the unmistakable sound of a safety being flipped off a firearm.

"Don't move, and no one gets hurt," Peggy said. Her soft, naïve tone of voice from before had been replaced by a harsh and demanding one.

"What's going on?" Sarah asked, feigned fear lacing her speech. In truth, she was having to hide the anger she felt toward herself for allowing someone to get the drop on her.

And Sarah knew that she could easily disarm the other woman, but she still didn't want to risk blowing her cover. After all, this reporter could have led her unknowingly into the break she had been searching for.

Then Sarah felt the pinch of a needle on her neck, followed by the cold burning of whatever she'd been injected with.

"You just sleep," Peggy said smugly. "Soon, your husband will come through for us. Or he won't. You really don't want to see what the result of that would be."

And Sarah dropped to the floor, pretending to be under the effects of the drug. Little did her captor know, however, that the opiate blocker Sarah dosed with daily had prevented the tranquilizer from knocking her out.

So it was a completely conscious Sarah that allowed for Peggy, and the two henchmen that came to join her to secure Sarah's hands above her head, leaving her hanging from some exposed pipes in the ceiling of the deserted room.

Fortunately, they didn't suspect Sarah of being capable at all. They hadn't searched her for weapons, and so her knives and her pistol were still on her person. And they hadn't picked up on the fact that Sarah had pulled a pin from her hair that she now palmed, ready to pick to lock to the cuffs that now held her once she figured out what these people wanted.

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_A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Okay, I haven't written in this in awhile, but I thought I'd put something out to hopefully encourage the great Malamoo to come out of hiding and give us 2C. Let's hope it works! As for my parody version, I think things are starting to wind down. This covers a couple of chapters in Moo's piece, and leads straight into the ultimate culmination. Hope you enjoy it, and please review. Thanks!

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_

When she was alone, Sarah began working on the handcuffs. It took next to no time to free herself, and soon, she was slinking out of the door to her makeshift cell.

Although the tranquilizer she'd been shot with hadn't knocked her out, it had made her quite nauseous. She'd been holding back from vomiting since she'd been captured and transferred. She'd have to be careful not to hurl while she was sneaking around the building. That could give away her position if anyone heard her.

She found her way to what she assumed was the main office. It looked like the main office. Peggy and a few other really important looking people were gathered in a room with a desk, three chairs, a computer, and a fern. Either it was an office or it was the shittiest break-room ever.

Sarah ducked down so as to be out of sight, and leaned her ear against the door to see if she could glean any information. Fortunately, her captors seemed to all be loud speakers, so hearing them was rather easy.

"So you captured Bartowski's blonde bitch?" one of the men asked.

_I'll show you a bitch_, Sarah thought.

"Yeah, she's locked up in the janitorial closet," someone answered.

"Is she the looker she was rumored to be?" someone else asked.

"Well, I'm sure she's seen her better days, but I still wouldn't kick her out of bed."

Sarah growled under her breath. She was going to enjoy killing every one of those bastards as soon as she found out what she came for.

"Think I could have a go at her before she wakes up?" another man asked.

"Heh," chuckled one of the men. "From the looks of her, she hasn't had a good dicking in a long time. Why not wait until she wakes up? I'm sure she'd appreciate it."

_I just got laid last night, mother fucker!_

"Anyway, maybe we call Charles now and let him know we have his precious?"

_Nuts to you. He'll probably be glad I'm here. If I'm dead, I can't take half of his things._

"Nah, I just called him a few minutes ago. He was otherwise engaged."

The entire room laughed. Apparently Chuck's man-slut reputation was well known to these goons.

"Just tell him that we're going to start cutting off her body parts if he doesn't send us the 'Great Ape'. That should do the trick."

_Like hell it will. I have everything I need to know, now. _

Sarah sprinted back down the hallway. Right across from the room she'd been held in before was a room marked "Weapons and Explosives". That really wasn't the best way to hide that you might have contraband, but in Sarah's experience, bad guys were rarely the brightest bulbs on the tree.

She threw open the door to the room, which wasn't even locked, and inside, she found a wide array of firearms, and enough C4 to blow up a small island nation.

Then she heard movement out in the hallway. She tucked a few bricks of the explosives into her coat, grabbed up a fully loaded M4 carbine, and stepped out of the door, already firing the gun. The three men out in front of her immediately dropped to the ground dead. Sarah smirked. This might be easier than she'd thought. She continued to move down the hall, searching for an exit. Unfortunately, as exit didn't seem to be readily available, and soon, the bad guys would realize that she was gone.

"She's escaped!" came a shout from down the hall.

_Well, guess it didn't take as long as I thought it would, _Sarah thought grimly.

She was still having no luck finding an exit, and soon she'd be captured again. If they found her, they'd try to use her against Chuck. Then when they realized that it wouldn't work, they'd kill her. If she wanted any chance to get out of this mess alive, she would have to make her own exit.

Pulling the C4 that she'd taken from the supply closet, and the detonator she taken with it, she planted the explosives against the back wall of the nearest room. Setting it to go off in one minute, she left the safety of the abandoned room, and ventured back into the hallway to escape the force of the coming blast. She'd only have to hold off the baddies for sixty seconds, which seemed doable.

Two men immediately approached her, and Sarah immediately shot them down. Then a horde of other enemies came rushing towards her, but they still seemed unwilling to kill her just yet. After all, they needed her as alive to leverage Chuck out of that "Grape Abe" thing, or whatever they had called it.

So Sarah took advantage of their unwillingness to shoot her by shooting as many of the bad guys as she could. Soon, however, she was out of ammo. Five men grabbed her and wrestled her to the ground. Just as they got her under control, however, the bomb went off.

Sarah closed her eyes when she heard the explosion, and hoped for the best. She felt something strike her head, and then she only saw black.

* * *

When Sarah awakened, she found herself under a mass of broken building and dead bodies. And EMT was telling her to be still. He was telling her that everything would be alright. But she didn't believe him. For all she knew, he could be one of the bad guys. Sarah fought him with as much force as her broken body could muster. It wasn't enough, however, as the technician's partner came over to help restrain the unwilling blonde, and Sarah then found herself strapped to a gurney.

She felt the EMT inject her with something, and whatever it was, it wasn't like the tranquilizer she'd been shot with earlier in the day. This injection actually worked. Sarah felt the darkness of unconsciousness begin to creep up on her again, and with no fight left in her, she gave way to the black.

* * *

When Sarah woke up again, she was no longer in the destroyed building. She wasn't in a hospital either. If she didn't know any better, she would swear she was in the guest bedroom at Chuck's house. But how could she have gotten there?

"Shh, it's going to be alright," said a soothing voice from beside her bed.

Sarah turned to look at the source of the voice, and was surprised to see that her "nurse" was…

"Jill?"

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_A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: Just what was Wep playing at with that end to the last chapter? Why would Jill be there? Hmmm…well, it's me! You should know why Jill was there, haha. Okay, didn't get as many reviews for the last chapter, which made me kind of sad, but I got over it, and because Moo updated, I updated. Hopefully for those of you that are still reading, this chapter won't disappoint. Thank you so much for reading, and I really hope you'll take a few moments to review. Thanks!

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_

"Jill?" Sarah asked again.

Jill smiled, wiping at Sarah's forehead with a cool rag. "Yes, it's me, Sarah."

Why would Jill be in her room? More to point, why would Jill be taking care of her? Did Chuck set this up? Had he ordered Jill to look after her? That certainly didn't seem like something this new Chuck would do. And Jill's expression – that calm, friendly expression – didn't seem like one that would be worn by someone that was doing something against her will.

"Why are you here?" Sarah asked, perplexed.

"Because someone needed to take care of you. And also, I know what you do, Sarah. I know you wouldn't trust the people at the hospital to care for you, and you shouldn't. You never know who someone really is," Jill said with a wistful tone.

_You never know who someone really is_. Jill's words struck Sarah as odd when accompanied by the tone of voice she'd adopted. Did the brunette woman mean something more than what she'd said?

"Are you talking about Chuck?" Sarah asked quietly.

Jill smiled sadly. "In a way, I guess I am," she said.

"In a way?" Sarah asked.

"Well, I'm not talking about Chuck directly, but I'm certainly talking about people involved with him," Jill said.

Sarah tried to read Jill's expression to figure out what the other woman meant, and under the blonde's scrutinizing gaze, Jill seemed to falter. Chuck's mistress diverted her eyes, seemingly to hide whatever the true meaning of her words were from Sarah. If Sarah didn't know any better, she would think Jill was embarrassed by something.

"How did I get here?" Sarah asked, changing the subject.

"Oh," Jill said, brightening slightly as the awkwardness of the situation seemed to fade slightly. "I was at the hospital for, well, you know, and I saw you come in on a stretcher. I lied and told them I was your sister –"

"You said you were my sister?"

"Yeah, because they would only let family back to see you. Anyway, I convinced the people there to release you into my care."

"How did you manage that?" Sarah asked.

"What can I say?" Jill said with a smirk. "I know some people."

"OK, more importantly, _why_ would you do that?"

Jill looked away again, but Sarah couldn't help but to see the blush rise to the other woman's cheeks. Jill shrugged, and in a mumbled tone said, "I just wanted to make sure someone was taking care of you. Someone that actually cared about you."

Sarah laughed mirthlessly. "You care about me?"

"Yes, I do," Jill said plainly.

"So you care so much about me that you've been fucking my husband for the five years that I've been away?" Sarah asked heatedly.

"I, well, I don't know what to say," Jill said.

"How about the truth?" Sarah demanded.

"The truth? You want the truth?" Jill asked.

"I think I deserve that much," Sarah said.

"Okay, fine. The truth is, I came back to Chuck for you."

Sarah laughed again. "And how does that work, exactly?"

"I wanted to be close to Chuck," Jill said softly. "But not because of Chuck. I wanted to be close to him, to be a part of his family, and a part of his life because I thought that was the only way I could be close to you."

"But you knew I was gone," Sarah pointed out.

"I know. And I know this doesn't make much sense, but I knew I'd never see you again. At least, I probably wouldn't see you again. So I decided the closest I could get was to assume your life," Jill explained.

"I still don't understand. Why would you do all of that?" Sarah asked.

"Because I'm in love with you," Jill said shyly. "I have been for a long time."  


* * *

"_Do you know why I've come to see you, Jill?" Sarah asked. _

_Jill rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it has something to do with Chuck."_

"_It does," Sarah admitted. "Chuck and I are getting married."_

"_Oh, how nice," Jill said sarcastically. "And you want me to be your maid of honor? Sorry to disappoint, but I don't think I'll make the wedding. I'm really tied down here," Jill said, holding up her cuffed wrists._

_Sarah had come to visit Jill in prison. Visiting the woman that probably knew Chuck better than anyone in a romantic sense had made such good sense when she'd decided to do it. Why did it seem like such a bad idea now?_

"_I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here," Sarah said, standing up from her chair in the visitation area of the holding facility. _

"_No wait!" Jill said hastily. "Please don't go. I don't get to talk to anyone here. I'll be nicer, I promise," she finished pathetically. _

"_Okay, so I want to talk about Chuck. I'm going to be his wife, but the fact is, I will concede that, well, I don't know him as well as you do. And I want this to work, Jill. So, will you help me?" Sarah asked. _

_Jill sighed. "Yeah, I'll help you on one condition."_

"_What's that?" Sarah asked skeptically. _

"_You come visit me once a week. Just you. Just come and talk to me. We'll talk about Chuck if you want. Or we'll talk about something else. It doesn't matter, I just want someone to talk to."_

_Sarah turned the situation over in her head. On the one hand, a couple of hours every week would be well worth her time if it made her a better wife for Chuck. On the other hand, it was Jill. Jill! She hated Jill, and the opportunity to make the other woman's life more of a hell on earth was a tempting one. But this wasn't about her. This was about Chuck. _

"_Fine," Sarah said with a sigh. "I'll come visit you once a week. Now, let's talk about Chuck."_

_And so began the strained friendship between Sarah and Jill. Every week, like she promised, Sarah came to visit her in prison. Every week they talked a little about Chuck, and Sarah would fill Jill in on world events from the week that she'd missed. The friendship was one sided, to be sure. Sarah still hated Jill with a passion, but Jill appreciated the visits more than Sarah would ever know.

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_A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace. _


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Okay, this is a chapter late, but I suppose I should give a femslash warning, haha. Okay, so Jill has admitted her feelings, and we got a little Jill/Sarah back story. Now how will Sarah react to this revelation? A good question, and one that will be answered in this chapter, of course. By the way, Moo's latest update was awesome. If you haven't read it (and I can't imagine you'd be reading this if you haven't), then please go check that out. It's certainly worth your time. And when I figure out what's happening there, I might have a whole new can of worms to play around with, haha. I appreciate you taking the time to read my nonsense, and I ask that you please review. Thanks!

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"You – you what?" Sarah asked, her voice squeaking slightly in surprise.

"I'm sorry," Jill said blushing. "I shouldn't have said that."

"But it's true?" Sarah asked.

"Yes," Jill said softly. "It's true. But I shouldn't have told you that in your condition. You don't need anything that could make you feel worse. I'm just – I couldn't hide it anymore."

What could Sarah say? Jill Roberts was in love with her? Jill, the woman that had for too many years been, in Sarah's mind, the embodiment of evil was in love with her? And Chuck, who Sarah thought would always love her, who was her touchstone in a world that hardly ever made sense, who was her husband, he didn't care if she lived or died. At what point had she gone to sleep and woken up in bizarro world?

"You're kidding with me, right?" Sarah asked. "There's someone with a camera hidden somewhere in the room, and any minute they're going to jump out and we'll all have a big laugh, right?"

Jill's expression changed from one of embarrassment and vulnerability to one of agitation. "I'm not kidding with you, Sarah! Why is it so hard for you to believe that I could be in love with you? What's not to love about you?" she almost yelled.

"Plenty!" Sarah exclaimed. "I'm not a very good person, Jill." Even as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. Why was she telling this to Jill? Just because Jill claimed to love her? Was she that easy?

"You _are _a good person Sarah," Jill insisted. "Just because you've done things for your job that are a little morally gray doesn't mean you're less of a person."

"You don't know me," Sarah argued.

"I know enough," Jill said simply. "I know you're strong, smart, caring, and beautiful."

Sarah had to fight back a grin. At least one person she'd run into on her trip still thought she was beautiful. True, it wasn't the person she wanted to be attracted to her, but beggars can't be choosers. But caring?

"How do you figure that I'm caring?"

"Well," Jill drawled. "When you were getting married to Chuck, you cared enough about him to come visit me, even though you hated me, just because you thought I could help you be a better wife for Chuck. Then, even though you still hated me, you kept your word to me and kept coming to see me."

"I did promise," Sarah mumbled.

"Exactly! You promised, and you cared enough to keep your promise. Do you know how rare that is?" Jill asked.

"Do you really think I'm beautiful?" Sarah asked. She knew she sounded pathetic, but she couldn't help it. After all she'd been through since being back in LA, she needed someone to validate her, and if Jill was the only one willing to do that, then she'd take it.

"Sarah," Jill said softly. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever known. The first time I met you, I was immediately taken by your physical presence. I've never," he throat seemed to get dry, and Jill swallowed hard. "I've never been attracted to another woman before, but you're different. You're special."

"Thank you," Sarah said meekly.

At that point, Jill had moved to sit on the bed beside Sarah. The brunette's hand had found its way to Sarah's face, and she gently stroked her cheek. "You know, if I wasn't worried that you'd think I was trying to take advantage of your weakened condition, I'd be forced to kiss you right now."

"Forced?" Sarah asked. "Would it be so bad?"

_Dammit!_ Sarah cursed herself. How had she fallen into this line of banter with Jill Roberts of all people? But she knew the answer. She only wanted to be loved, and Jill was offering that. Still, she couldn't fall prey to the other woman's advances. But before she could protest, Jill leaned over and softly pressed her lips against Sarah's.

At first, Sarah didn't react. She didn't know how to react. Should she push Jill away? Or should she embrace the electricity that seemed to flow from Jill's lips to her own? Sarah chose the latter, and began to return the kiss, tentatively at first, then with more force. She was still weak from the drugs that had put her out, but she was strong enough to wrap her arms around Jill's back and pull the other woman down on top of her.

The two women began to roll around, until Jill landed on one of Sarah's sore spots.

"Ow!" Sarah yelled.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Jill asked in a panic.

"I'm fine," Sarah said, still out of breath from the kiss. Then the gravity of what had just happened began to set in. She'd just made out with Jill. Jill who she hated. Jill who once tried to kill her in the Buy More. Jill who had once broken Chuck's heart. Jill who was her husband's mistress. But, Jill who also loved her. Sarah didn't know how to feel.

"Jill, I don't know if –"

"Please, Sarah," Jill begged. "Please don't regret that."

"But we shouldn't have done that Jill. I'm married. And you're, you're pregnant with my husband's child." Sarah paused and turned that situation over in her head. "Wow, we're in a really fucked up situation, aren't we?"

Jill laughed softly as she cuddled up to Sarah's side. "Yeah, we are."

Sarah didn't know why Jill felt so comfortable being close to her. But more than that, she didn't know why she felt so comfortable being that close to Jill. Was she seriously considering taking Jill up on whatever the other woman was offering? Was Sarah seriously considering allowing Jill to love her?

But on top of those thoughts, Sarah thought back to the kiss they'd just shared. It had seemed to go on forever, but it seemed all too short at the same time. Sarah hadn't felt a kiss like that since her first kiss with Chuck, down on the docks. Could she maybe have the same feelings for this woman that she'd once held for Chuck? Chuck had certainly changed from the lovable nerd Sarah had once knew. Whatever feelings Sarah used to hold for him, she wasn't sure she still held them. But Jill? Jill loved her. And Sarah loved being loved.

Someone once told Sarah that life was a series of moments, though, and she was determined to embrace this one. She hugged Jill close to her, and looked the other woman in the eye. "Thank you so much for taking care of me," she said earnestly, and kissed Jill softly on the lips.

"I'll always take care of you," Jill answered softly. "As long as you'll let me."

Then the two women fell asleep in one another's arms. No one could tell what the next day would bring, but for the moment, they were together.

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_A/N: You guys are awesome. Peace. _


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